The Beautiful Scar

2009-10-16T18:11:00.000+08:00

failed.

fallen into the abyss..wrinkled heart..wads left of me..

2009-10-16T14:45:00.002+08:00

its hard 2 carry on..when u hav nth left..

it felt as though i was important juz yesterday..but now im nth..haha

i find it amusing..wonder y..

i guess tts juz how life is..1 wound opens while another close.

wad a pathetic state i m in now..totally awesome..nth seems 2 cheer me up anymore

2009-10-04T23:23:00.003+08:00

im happy =)

m i? sigh..

2009-10-04T03:43:00.005+08:00

life's like this.

shit happens all at once..its god's will. one shit is never enuff 2 make some1 strong =)

its all over i know it deep down..i shld hav heed the signs..i shld hav listened..but now im contented..time 2 leave the past behind..1 week of pure break aint enuff..but ill make it worthwhile.

When deep injury is done to us,
We never recover until we forgive.
Forgiveness does not change the past,
But it does enlarge the future.

I cant guarentee ill fully recover, i cant bring back the old me, but i promise tt life would be better off n ill be much happier than i shld be.

I'll do all that i can, but nth will ever change. This time, its final.

thanks for everything

2009-10-02T07:44:00.003+08:00

it kinda sucks not being able to express urself in the right way..whenever i wanna some things but it juz doesn't come out right..gotta watch the tone, using the right words n so much other shit..gah..

guess now life aint tt perfect..too many things im starting 2 worry abt..especially tt 1 particular incident..sometimes if only things were different from the very start..everything would change..i think..

anyways funny guys is a long show..but awesome =) watch it..show has great meaning..

at the end of the day..mayb tts how story might go..but good frens will always b there for u 2 lean on..

2009-09-16T13:35:00.002+08:00

is it really tt hard 2 understand me? or is it tt my explanation sucks..i guess its both..

im sorry..tt really wasn't wad i meant..stop assuming on my behalf..likewise i wun anymore..this is the last thing i wanna say..

as for now..i juz wanna hide from everything now..this feeling really sucks..n i guess i really hav no1 2 tell this to..no1 will ever understand my situation..

this will mark the end..will do things the hard way..

im sorry..im always unable to get my emotions n expressions right

2009-09-16T04:10:00.002+08:00

cant slp..hahaha amnesia again..owells..

this was wad i wanted..expected it..so yea..ill juz smile my way through =)

emo n unhappy ppl die faster

2009-09-15T09:28:00.002+08:00

when u yearn for smth u can nv hav..

when everyone thinks what u shld hav..

when you're always alone wif no1 to talk to..

when u did nth wrong but having the whole world against you..

when you wanna b happy..but you know now its impossible to..

show me the new path to walk now? hav been straying out in the dark for too long.

2009-09-07T14:43:00.003+08:00

will i ever do anything right? sigh..juz wanna b there..been chased away so much..really sucks..hate this feeling..especially when i know there is nth i can do anymore..sorry..

its so tough..hate the sight n thought of it. fuck this.

2009-09-06T21:00:00.002+08:00

juz wad m i in everyone's eye. dirt? junk? haha

wad hav i done wrong in the past. do i even deserve it. gimmi a piece of mind. i really nid it this time. i smile i laugh. i put on a fake front. will i ever b happy. will i ever snap out of this.

if i can, i would juz want to live in my own world. mayb tts y some ppl do tt. its not weird. its cox it gives us our own peace of mind. im not seeking revenge. but if only karma exist. i wonder what punishment would befall on them.

2009-09-04T01:15:00.002+08:00

Today..4th September..unfolds a new chapter in life..no matter how tough it will b..i hafta move on. =)

when one door closes, another door opens.

rest in peace n take care.

2009-09-02T09:35:00.007+08:00

how can i make the decision for others..especially when it involves one happiness. is this a joke or smth?

ive said everything i should..i lied 2 most of it..u know wad i want..how much i can sacrifice..wad i can do..haha somehow i feel my life is purely a joke now..somehow feel u don't know me at all..probably u juz confused now..getting mixed up between our personalities.

all i will say is tt deep inside..u know wad u want..juz give urself more time to confirm ur choice..n it will b much better if the disgusting party backs off first.

u always ask me wad i want..put it simply..u being happy..

will i ever do 1 thing right..regretting this would be the last thing i ever want

weakling..

2009-09-02T00:26:00.002+08:00

im sorry..i guess today would b the worst time ill ever b feeling..

feel so weak..feel so pathetic..haha life's a joke now..

if only it was so easy..if only i changed earlier..haha..if only..

happy for u =)

2009-09-01T00:21:00.003+08:00

its been a long while since my last post..the journey for me has been very rocky the past month. weird things happening..all of which are bad..hahahha owells..guess things always for a reason..whether it is self denial or not..i dun care anymore..

Juz wanna say tt im extremely happy for u..=) im sure things will get so more happier n better now. stop having second thoughts already. juz b happy..n im sure u already are.
haha its juz so weird that i no longer know what 2 say..but juz 2 keep it short..I have given u my best wishes n all the best..take really good care. =)

things are juz going down..suntec we lost..but we did our best..m very happy n more than i can ask for..=) good job team..

n lastly..rest in peace uncle..=') you'll always b in our memories.

ill keep smiling..even if i hafta put on a fake 1..cox tts wad every1 wants 2 see..n in the realistic world..life is abt pleasing others n never urself. =)

2009-07-28T22:52:00.002+08:00

thx for all your encouragement guys..i know i will get out of this phase..juz nid time..

but im juz darn glad im still as happy as i can be!! hahhaa =)

"what would you do if u really wanna settle an issue, however the other party isn't, would u juz let it be?"

this is so infuriating..traces of doubts..

good things always come after bad..i hav 2 learn 2 finally let go..

2009-07-25T20:24:00.000+08:00

i hate myself now...

what has become of me..

2009-07-22T10:15:00.003+08:00

why is it everytime that everything i do is wrong to u..

even after so much has happened. u suddenly popped out of nowhere, but still, everything seems like its my fault.

will u ever start appreciating me for who i m..even as a fren..

2009-07-21T13:52:00.002+08:00

where is every1?

juz who can b trusted?

wad m i doing wif my life exactly..fuck it

tired of running this endless race..i guess i really put in too much effort into "people" of which most of them dun deserve any. its time 2 take a break n start enjoying my life. fuck everything.

2009-07-14T14:25:00.001+08:00

wad else can go wrong?

god u fucking wanna take everything away don't u..selfish bastard

parasites n leeches

2009-07-14T10:00:00.003+08:00

living in delusion..i aint me no more..juz ruining my own life from what i can see..

theres only one thing, to do, three words for you.
theres only one way, to say, those three words and thats wad ill do,

I HATE YOU.

=D

some so called wonderful 'frens' i thought i always had. i guess ppl change..ppl start taking u for granted. whenever they need a helping hand or listening ear, they always know who 2 turn to. but whenever the situation turns, likewise do they know how 2 disappear. haha

so pls find me as and when u want and say all those words, but ill never believe a word. ive learnt to filter lies or truth. depending on who u are and what you've done, uve made me come 2 a conclusion abt what type of person u are.

sorry but if things happen once too many times, it gets harder to trust any1.

now i begin 2 understand why my dad is so cold-hearted and hardly trust any1. been a fool for 20 years of my life. aint gonna happen anymore.

2009-07-09T10:35:00.003+08:00

fuck everything

i wanna do so many things..for tt fucked up reason..now i think it is all bullshit. it will never happen, i nid 2 fucking get out of this pathetic state.

learnt many things..its true..ppl get my help too easily..fuck it..tts y it was never once fucking appreciated. the one in the losing end is myself. for wad..the thing is tt i do not expect anything in return, i juz wanted to help. but it is juz human nature 2 make use of one another after all.

went to church at 12am. juz sat there silently. love the peace n serenity. wanna find u back in my life..guess u are still more important than anything else.

anyway..this goes out 2 every soul.

DO UNTO OTHERS WHAT OTHERS DO ONTO U.
it means treat ppl wif respect. likewise when u want others 2 treat u wif ur due respect. simply as tt fucktard.

2009-07-08T00:29:00.003+08:00

how i wish i can b those typical non-chalent guys out there..haha

things would b so much easier then...

who would ever know of the tears tt has been shed.

DEDICATION =D

2009-06-30T15:46:00.002+08:00

This post is specially dedicated to that few travelling buddies.

I know you all wanna go Japan. Cox its a lovely place and i agree too! But you all know we are having recession now so we gotta find somewhere BUDGET!!!!!

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO....

During TBG 2009, 28th June, YOU ALL witnessed for yourself the WRATH of CHEEEEENAAA~~~ 5+5 CREW WAS DOPE!!! Don't you think its heaven sent? A message, a gift from heaven, telling us that we should go CHEEEEEEEEEEEENAAAA instead?!

Don't u feel tt way?! come onnn..look at it this way..we go CHEEEEEEEEENAAAA..imagine how much we would be saving up on clothes and air tix n accomodation. With that money we can spend on MORE CLOTHES, DOPE FOOD AND MORE CLASSES~!!! LONGER VACATION TOO!!!! RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT?! HAHAHAHAHHA

Theres so many places 2 visit there!!! n in CHEEEEEEENNAAAAA, they hav seasons too!! so it cooling there..hahahha

SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!!! CHEEEEEENAA IS THE PLACE FOR US!!! SOMMORE NO LANGUAGE BARRIER!!! IMAGINE ALL THE BENEFITS WE CAN REAP FROM IT!!! HOHOHOHOHO so WHY NOT!!!!

Picture this *******DIM SUM BUFFET******** =p so u tempted now? =DDD wheeee~~

2009-06-30T09:19:00.002+08:00

Look for something, find something else, and realize that what you've found is more suited to your needs than what you thought you were looking for.

it is juz tt simple..like Meiqi said..if u r unhappy doing it, y do it at all? =)

life is short..juz b happy..no point drowning urself in self pity and only realising it after 10 years..imagine the time u hav wasted then. i agree tt every1 deserves their own time n space to "emo" juz dun do it too often. or ull only end up trapping urself.

wheeee~~

happier than ever now! heh YAY TODAY IS DAY!!! ULL B BACK!! WOOTS WOOTS

2009-06-27T02:46:00.003+08:00

CONGRATS TO EPIC, REVOGUE N SHUT UP BOYS!!

n now..im doubting myself..will i ever make tt stand..will i reach there..

2009-06-25T09:55:00.000+08:00

i swear i hate this..damn chest pains back again..this sucks big time..seriously..

OMG

2009-06-23T09:11:00.001+08:00

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/rtrs/20090621/tap-oukwd-uk-korea-north-singapore-c3bb44c.html

shall not comment much since this is a very sensitive issue..but guess u all shld know abt it too..haha sighhh

what the what the!!!

2009-06-22T09:00:00.004+08:00

YAY~!!! life's been great recently!!! i hav no idea y..but do u believe in the law of attraction? like if u think positive n b happy, happy stuff happens 2 ya!!! =) i swear its all true!! if u r reading this, start thinking positive, slowly life will change 180 degrees! ull feel happier, things will go ur way,etc..i mean after all, u only get 2 live ur life once anyway! =D

so...1 more thing..I DO NOT LOOK LIKE OR SOUND LIKE TT "I LOVE YOU,MAN" GUY!!! COX...IM MORE UNIQUE!!! WAHAHAHHAHA ehh those who haven watch it yet, PLEASE DO~~ *free advetisement here* lalalala!! its a damn funny n good show ^^ hahahaha..after watching it, think abt life, it aint so complicated actually, juz b urself n do things u like! who gives a f***, ur life, ur rules, live it like u mean it..cox if u dowan, give everything 2 me then kill urself. =)

so those out there reading this post, if u ever nid 2 share ur problems n get over a difficult issue, can always feel free 2 find me n find out my 'secrets' to being happy~! LOL

ahhhh..im damn lame n im tired..n yea..coffee makes ur breathe stink. =D

those ard me who r feeling upset, cheer up peeeeeple~! cox im back, badder, faster, stronger, cuter, handsomer, stronger, better, mightier, smilier, taller, fatter, skinnier, smarter, wiser n yea..wadever...=) so yea..STAY HAPPY~!!!

2009-06-18T12:18:00.002+08:00

I am back~!

haha..well..i still think abt the past n m not completely alright yet..but soon enuff ill b..=)

for now i juz wanna b happy..hahaha

*edited - OMG, THIS IS SO ADDICTIVE!!! WAHAHHAHAA

JUNO

2009-06-16T11:38:00.003+08:00

You're a part time lover and a full time friend
The monkey on your back is the latest trend
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else...but you

I'll kiss you on the brain in the shadow of the train
I'll kiss you all starry eyed my body swingin' from side to side
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else...but you

Here is the church and here is the steeple
We sure are cute for two ugly people
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else...but you

Pebbles forgive me, the trees forgive
So why can't you forgive me
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else...but you

I will find my niche in your car
With my MP3, DVD, rumble pack guitar
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else...but you

DU DU DU DU DU DU~~~ =D

Up up down down left right left right B A start
Just because we use cheats doesn't mean we're not smart
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else...but you

You are always tryin' to keep it real
I'm in love with how you feel
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else...but you

We both have shiny happy fits of rage
You want more fans, I want more stage
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else...but you

Don Quixote was a steel driving man
My name is Adam I'm your biggest fan
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else...but you

Squinched up your face and did a dance
Shook a little terd out of the bottom of your pants
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else...BUT you

DU DU DU DU DU~~~

but you...

simply love the lyrics to this song..amazing! hahaha so cute..imagine a couple strumming on simple chords n singing to each other, a song abt each other..sweetness~! heh

RANDOM

2009-06-15T10:53:00.004+08:00

smoking is bad for health!

and anyway..i feel like doing smth really stupid..hahaha but if it makes u happy..Y NOT?! WAHAHAHHA

n n n n n..if any1 know of any blog shop sell guys stuff pls tell me!!! ahahahha =)

n n n n n n n n..boogaloo's and animation..will u b my fren pls..=(

2009-06-04T16:42:00.006+08:00

I'll make a wish for you

And hope it will come true

That life would just be kind

To such a gentle mind

If you lose your way

Think back on yesterday

Remember me this way

Remember me this way

Would really like to thank ppl..u know who u r..telling me wad i shld do n most importantly..not keeping me in the dark anymore..looks like wad i thought was true..

I wun deny anything now..u guys somehow saw through me..cox i really suck at hiding..haha tts y my dance expression oso cui 2 the max..hahaha i wonder wad can i ever do right..i juz feel lost..helpless..i only know tt each breathe i take..my chest hurts more than ever..penetrating pain..impossible to b expressed..

people call me the weird, retard n funny one. but i do this only 2 make ppl smile..2 surpress my inner emotions..for when u guys smile..i feel happier and at ease..

I guess thats how things come 2 an end, hardly any happy endings..but only bringing about new beginnings..

I'll still always pray for ya like i always did and promised. Stay happy always.

2009-06-04T10:31:00.005+08:00

I guess what Jean said was right..i dun hafta hide it much i guess..ppl can see it..

I wun indulge myself in self pity anymore..no matter how sad i am, i know ill pull through and i gotta be strong for my frens at least..

now the situation has gotten so bad..i juz hope things will get better soon..n regardless of wad happens, ill always stick by ur side..juz like my fellow silver roach..i can still feel her presence around me..haix.. *emo emo, i miss Jenny..=(*

LOLX~! i know alot of ppl wanna slap me over *Jenny* but..deal wif it!!! wahahahha

n i guess im really killing myself slowly..but tts how i will handle it n it eases my chest pain..it has gotten worst recently..cant even fucking sit straight..screw this..but owells..ill b fine soon enuff..haha

I hope everything turns out fine..juz want ya 2 b happy

I'm at your disposal

2009-06-02T09:47:00.024+08:00

God..what have I done to deserve this..each time..you make me go through so much pain..please start showing me the way..

Each time I pray to you..I beg for others forgiveness..when have I ever asked anything from you..every time, I beg for others, without fail..I pray for their safety and their well-being..haven't I given enough already? Selfless giving..load of bullshit..each time I do it..I tell myself things will get better..but u never showed me "better" you threw more hell to me..

Am I repaying for the sins I was convicted for in my past life? Or else why put me through so much hell..you showed so many signs that I wasn't meant to be here..you gave me poor health..you made me face embarrassments countless times..till I'm so fucking immune to it..

Juz what do u expect out of me..I'm drained dry..is this the final call? I stayed strong till now.. but I'm shattered and broken..I dun see any glimpse of hope..I'm tired of it all..I wanna stop..

Take me away if you must, don't torture me this way, take away all my headaches and chest pains, I dun wanna play this game.
I fall at every step, is this the way to redemption, but haven't I been condemned enough, for how much longer must i suffer.
The route to salvation is so bleak, but is this all part of it, have you even ever been there for me, but if so, Why me..to go through all of this..

I hate to make my life sound so pathetic..but I'm already at the deepest point in depression.

I brought you out of your hell, but now..you left me trapped in mine..

2009-05-31T13:25:00.001+08:00

this is all just some bad dream..mummy..wake me up will you..?

2009-05-31T05:33:00.002+08:00

Thanks to those who asked abt my poor silver roach..anyway i believe she is in her insect heaven now..=) thx much..

anyway..im sorry..guess i shld hav known earlier..n thx for being so truthful to me..n for now..juz hope ull finally get wad u want..=)

now..its really time 2 do wad i want..so yea..WAHAHAHHAHA the new me, love it or not..i do not give a damn.

but...=( im sorry..

2009-05-29T16:35:00.004+08:00

NOT FOR FAINT HEARTED. CONTAINS GORY SCENES. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!

It was crawling...silently and subletly..thinking she was invinsible.

She escaped my sight initially. But I never stopped looking.

She came out once, on the letter "N" this time, but back she went, knewing it was within sight.

My radar could sense her from anywhere. The vibrations she gave, and the sounds she made, could all be clearly detected from where I was.

I never stop staring and I could easily predict her every moment. She scurried through all the keys knowing she was in deep danger. I stomped down on the keys surrounding her but being extremely cautious not to hurt her. I just wanted to play with her.

"BAM!!" she felt the pinch, incidentally, she crawled but up to safety. Her hind legs were crushed, slowly bleeding, but she perservered, she kept crawling, as though she was pulling herself through some jagged edges of a cliff to safety.

She finally managed to crawl out. She was out of the keyboard at last. It took her about 15 mins to crawl her way out. However, she just stood there since..never moved 1 bit..i touched her..i called out for her name..*Jenny~~ Jenny!!!* she never responded..

She just stood there. Still. Totally no reaction to whatever I'm doing. I tried making funny faces too..she didn't look back at me..never once..that was the end of it..I....I.....killed her....due to my playful and folly nature..I murdered her..I decapitated her..I felt so lost..

I whispered: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (as i can't shout in office)

What have i done..I carried her on my palm..I embraced her tightly.."SPLAT" i heard another sound..DAMMIT!!!! now i accidentally crushed her to bits..i quickly placed her back on the table trying to join her pieces together. I could not decipher which part belongs to which..but at least..it happened after she passed away..so im sure she felt nothing..

Now there she lay, her feelers, body and intestines, all joined back together. I placed her in a tissue paper and buried her in my drawer.

To be forever remembered in my memory. My fellow partner, my fellow play mate, my fellow buddy when i was bored. You would creep up to my arms..tickle me and treat my arm as a sprinting track, my...loved one..

I am so sorry..but..may you rest in peace and...god bless you..have a safe trip to heaven..I..love...you... ='( and i mean..God loves insects too right? Unless insects have their own insect God then yea..but still...all the best in your afterlife..

random post~

2009-05-29T09:15:00.003+08:00

haha..juz being extremely random here..it is like i guess im really happy now..but each time i listen n wanna try help my frens, they tell me their problems and somehow ill juz start thinking then become emo.. -.-

its like damn bullshit n not supposed 2 happen!!! haix..now im oso having my doubts..m i really happy? or am i juz trying to be happy. kinda sucks..but regardless, i will still always wanna be there for my frens.. =) w/o frens, i dunno where i will be. love all my frens to the max! hahaha..sometimes i juz feel I can do more for them..going the extra distant..i dunno..tts wad frens r for right? hahahha

for those who read this, dun cox of this post then stop telling me ur probs!!! im really juz being totally extremely random..haha..the thing abt me is tt..i find it very hard to express myself..and tt really sucks..gotta start reading more already!!! RAWRRRR

anyways..Ive finally found out the meaning of the "S" behind my name..it is to make people "SMILE" and of cox to describe my personality and style...SEXY~!!! WOOTS WOOTS WOOTS =D

anyway twin..sorry but i got all the handsome n sexy n cute cells..so stop complaining n..LIVE WIF IT!!! WAHAHAHAHA

bdae post

2009-05-25T16:57:00.003+08:00

hahaha whee~! im so happy today!!! hahaha cox...ITS MY BDAE!!!

haha i guess those who talked 2 me today felt tt i was extra cheerful..heh suria was like"ehh y u today so happy?" LOL

well..only she knows the reason..heh whee!!! gonna b happy a long long long time now..

made a bdae wish..some1 asked wad did i wish for..n whether it was for myself..answer is...im not gonna say what i wished for..neither was it for myself =) hahhahhaa once i say it it wun come true anymore!!! so cant say~!

lalala anyway last friday was a freaking memorable night!!! haha had so much fun during dinner wif every1 company n went meet nicole, raaz n hazrul ahahahah. FUN FUN FUN!!!

too bad im a blog noob so no pics..WAHAHAHA

next up..meeting wif the dopes!! (tts wad they call themselves..LOL super lame n funny), my dears and 1k06!!! WOOTS WOOTS WOOOTS!!!

lalala...anyways..i guess after intensive decision thinking..ive made up what i wanna do in life..haha so yea..wish me all the best for it!!

anyways..those who hav always been there for me..thx so much..but for now..the change n me will happen..so remember this way..cheerful, full of life n no worries no more..=)

GREETINGS FROM INSECT WORLD

2009-05-22T09:38:00.004+08:00

HAHAHHA SPEAKING ABT LAMENESS N COOL STUFF!!!

I WAS WOKEN UP BY THIS BABY ROACH!!! SO CUTE~!!!

IT WAS LIKE STARING STRAIGHT AT ME!! SITTING ON MY LETTER"Y" ON THE KEYBOARD WIF ITS FEELERS SHAKING!!! AHAHAHAHAHHA

simply adorable la!!! n the colour is like really clean n nice!!! unlike big grown ups..so dirty n black..tt baby roach had some white lines on it..mayb its a mixed bred of roach n silverfish..hahahah

anyway..my company is infested wif lotsa insects..so its common..lalalala

2009-05-22T09:17:00.003+08:00

its been awhile since stupid n lame stuff happened 2 me..haha owells..missing those moments...

sian..i feel i really really REALLY gotta open up once again..feel so enclosed n keep sticking in my safe zone..totally sucks..hahaha neither is it healthy for me..so yea..gonna step out of my boxx.

=D wheee~! bdae coming but i dun feel the mood..HAIX so sian..dunno wad ive been wif my life recently..n tts really bad..HAIX...so..owells..heh how i wish i can juz dance n dance n slack n slp n not care abt anything else..

something random..i want a dog..=(( LOL

2009-05-19T11:11:00.001+08:00

OMG IM SO DOPE!!! I JUZ DID UP MY LINKS!!!

WAHAHHAHA ok so i did it then suddenly feel bad bored so dun wanna do anymore..to be continued..LOL

wheee~! man.blogging is tough job too actually..so many ppl 2 link..BAHHHHH

2009-05-19T10:49:00.001+08:00

sinking myself in my own pathetic little world..

2009-05-17T21:34:00.003+08:00

I feel that this time its real..i will not look back anymore..i won't feel sad either..ive done my best..did what i can..everything ive done till date u know so urself..what hav i really expected..nothing much in fact..

y is it tt i always end up a fool? mayb cox i never learn..mayb cox i succumb 2 ur clutches easily..mayb..its juz cox im dumb..my heart always softens too easily..

but im juz glad tt things will now b like this. i will no longer look forward to happy nights or brightest mornings. not even expecting to even hear of the slightest news abt u..

so i guess tts it..ive left the memories behind..starting new ones w/o u in it..let this juz b my upcoming birthday wish.

Last but not least..i juz wanna say..thx for everything..

2009-05-12T11:14:00.004+08:00

well u know what? i thought things out..n yea..really life aint tt bad after all..im actually quite happy..satisfied wif wad i hav..n all these small little things are what makes me truely happy..

like getting bird shit tgt wif albert..which what zhilin claims as owl shit cox it was like at 11pm? hahaha like wth..

n those true frens ard me..haha im more than satisfied and glad to have them ard..=) n im so darn gonna live my life 2 the fullest..wasted 2 years already..not gonna waste anymore of it.

so...WOOTS WOOOTS!!!! wahahahha

anyway i doubt this yr bdae will b much of a huge celebration..as always..heh saving up money..hopefully next yr can celeb in the moon~!

ciao~~

2009-05-11T17:29:00.001+08:00

sick again..bad year...been sick like more than 4 times already..bahh hate being sick..=(

byee~~! knock off already..going home catch some rest..really nid it..

looking back

2009-05-10T11:11:00.003+08:00

I dunno what i want...too many stuff on my mind..haix

how long more will i live this way..everything seems so easy 2 say..but when it comes 2 practical..whole different story all together..guess now i shld really be living my own life n not for others..n i really nid to get tt thing off my mind..screwed up..

this is meant 2 b a happy blog..juz nid 2 overcome tt freaking thing..

Specially for Jean n Raazmy

2009-05-08T14:11:00.002+08:00

Jean..first of all, thanks so much for everything..u hav taught me really alot abt life..ur constant encouragement n 'care' is also much appreciated. Thanks for calling me dumb shit cox u r too! As it takes one to know another. So at least we r similar. hahahahahha i know im older than u but thanks for being my mum during dance but after office hours im ur grandfather..LOL juz wanna say THANKS ALOT!

I know in the past in juz some blur n dumb shit always fading into the background n never knowing wads going on, always in im own pathetic little world. But now its all different, i wanna do smth more =) getting DEEPER into my pathetic world..LOL no jkjk..very lame i know..hahaha i also juz wanna say tt besides being there, i wanna thank you for never giving up on me despite my extremely low self-esteem. All this small things really mean alot and im grateful beyond words. Thank You. Just wanna let u know that I'll always be here whenever u nid a helping hand n tt u r extremely dope n great. Stay happy cox only when ur happy do u eat alot =D n tts when ur normal..AHAHAHHAHA cheers!

And now this goes out to the bitch Raazmy Tan.

First!!! thx for making me stop scratching..LOL the biggest change EVER~! n damn tough sia..LOL ehh...wells...i m very happy to hav known u..haha u r the biggest crapper tt ever lived i swear!! like many times im feeling quite down, but ur jokes ah..so crap till every1 ard u will smile..wonder how u do it..n i miss ur mermaid..LOL

Many times i feel depressed n down..but u r always there to ask n keep pulling me back up..ur words mean alot n im very grateful..thanks for everything. How i wish i can hav ur energy n vibes but frankly speaking, even so, no1 else can carry it out better than u can =)

i hope ull always stay cheery n happy! infact u always do~! thx for pulling me through the hard times in all aspects, life n most importantly dance. It's quite hard to survive but thankfully for u guys, it is now possible. Keep ur energy going n dance like mad!! juz b careful not 2 break ur neck =p

hmm like i really admire u alot, ur courage, ur strength n ur determination. everything i see from u i juz really admire alot..haha n yea..learnt alot from ya..thx for all ur strong words of advice. i know many times u say things in a different tone but its cox its really for the best of tt person. n yea..thx..=)

u 2 are really ppl tt inspired me alot and are great leaders. u dun hav to show much but ppl will still wanna learn from u..the amount of things u guys taught me n did is boundless and is appreciated from the bottom of heart. Thank You so much.

May peace be wif guys always n yea..keep dancing n never give up. Thanks a million.

There are many ppl out there whom i wanna thank too..n u know who u r..=) ur turn will come soon heh. CHEERS~!

evolution

2009-05-08T09:21:00.002+08:00

Ah~~!!! i think the mutation process has started..i can feel it in my fingers..i feel it in my toes~~

RAWRRRR..woke up today wif extremely bloodshot eyes..so my guess is tt ill become cyclops. i mean i dun ask for much cox all i wanted always was to become deadpool but i still want my mouth though..LOL anyways cyclops is quite kool too..cannot be too greedy and ask for much..

anyways..yea..this means ill get a hot gf too =DD WHEEEE~ sian..eyes hurt so much..wonder when will my laser officially come out..bahhh

so bored..so tired..work is so boring n draining..haixxxx

Random

2009-05-06T21:46:00.001+08:00

Forgetting someone is like trying to remember someone you have never met.

GUESS WHOS BACK~~

2009-05-05T22:13:00.003+08:00

Guess whos back~~ back again~~ kiffy's back~~~ tell a fren~~~ (wif eminem dope seh n voice)

owells~! all thx 2 Melissa Ang Shu Xian who is my fellow Year 1 classmate and now my good fellow colleague, my blog is finally back online~! wheeee~~~

asked tt useless sp for help but well..she is useless =) AHAHAHAHAHA

Melissa juz said she go slp after she did this for me..so happy n touched..

been away for too long keeping all my emotions inside of me..im never good wif words..but heck it..there has to always b a start in everything..so starting from today onwards..im gonna set myself FREE!!! no longer keeping any shit inside of me..wahahhaha

ok tts all for now..gotta figure out how 2 edit profile n stuff..n links..shit im never good wif html..screw this..LOL

2008-08-21T22:49:00.001+08:00

*OFFICIALLY CLOSED*

2008-08-13T00:22:00.001+08:00

im sorry then..its juz somehow feels as though it is refering 2 me.

sorry

2008-08-12T02:12:00.004+08:00

err..pls get this right..im not seeking any explanation wadever..m i wrong 2 say im happy for u?

fuck tt k? like im wrong wishing ya all the best? haha u think too much..well no worries cox ill fuck off n i wun fucking care anymore cox tts wad u want..

for once read properly before assuming cox u always end up making an ASS out of U when u assume abt ME. =D

now this is what u call judging

2008-08-11T00:28:00.002+08:00

hohoho..so qiao la!! saw u like 2 days in a row..i think? smth lydat..haha but yea..juz glad tt u r doing fine..really..=D very happy for ya..

juz wanna keep it short n simple..i hope that u can really find genuine happiness once again n live ur life to the fullest..i hope tt guy will really look after ya n take good care of ya regardless..haha

hey..take really good care of urself k? =D if theres anything..u can still always find me..haha n 1 last thing..dun ever give up..haha ppl might despise u n all but dun ever give in 2 them..do wad u really want n deem is right..F the rest..haha

realisation

2008-08-04T01:21:00.003+08:00

finally..it took me like 19 years to realise how a bastard ive been..haha seriously..i always expect things 2 go my way..never hav i considered how others ard me would feel..so long as the outcome turns out my way..i hate it..or shld i say..i hate myself..

y muz things turn out to a point whereby ive hurt some1 so much then i realise..this time, the damage done is beyond repair..nth can ever salvage the situation le..i feel like a total bastard..an ass for never understanding things and die die wanting things 2 go my way..i hate it to the max.

words hav been said n theres no way i can ever take them back..but after this..ive realised..ive changed so much..y..sigh..find the old me back..haha..not the bastard me..i cant do this anymore..

I HATE MYSELF

2008-07-24T11:40:00.003+08:00

whoo~! performance is juz tml!! haha nervous nervous..sigh..guess all of us r not performing up 2 standard..but yea..we'll still make it a good show i know so..we will definitely pull this through..=D

glad that it was not refering 2 me..haha but even so, glad tt u r doing fine. =D haha take care yo!

2008-07-22T08:57:00.000+08:00

grats..ur wish came true..karma did hit me..but good for you i guess..cox karma hit me way back 2-3 mnths ago..haha quite a long duration..but anyways..hope u r feeling happy abt it =DD

2008-06-21T13:30:00.001+08:00

everything's like not over yet..projects a real killer..sigh...=(( stressed up wif everything..

hope u r doing fine..is there ever a chance that we can still be frens?

2008-06-16T14:46:00.001+08:00

the night is still very long..sleepless nights..breathless times..want it all 2 stop..sigh..

whats left of me..

2008-06-01T10:11:00.001+08:00

hey u!! yes u xinyi!!!

if u ever wanna complain or what u know im juz a phone call away k? i know my schedule is very tight n im always busy but u can always drop me an sms..ill reply the moment i see it..try not 2 get too bothered over such problems..dun let it affect ya..

haha stay strong..dun know whether ull see this but yea..haha

hope u can find urself back..

2008-05-29T05:49:00.003+08:00

i really hav no idea wad im doing wif my life now..sigh..this sucks..big time..really..sigh..

i hav like no other aim in life cept wanting 2 improve my dance drastically..but it doesn't come like tt overnight..haha

sighhhh..stressed..!

2008-05-20T00:33:00.003+08:00

been away for too long i guess..haha i mean..frankly..can i ever find the real me back? sigh..school has been opened for like close 2 2 mnths..the no. of words i said hardly reaches 50..haha..

how hav u been? flying off soon~~ wheee~~ anyways..hav a safe trip n haf fun yo?! haha hope u r still doing great..stay happy always =))

been feeling really like shit n crap lately..all my frens can tell..i mean..thx..really..for showing concern n all..but i really juz dun wish 2 talk..not anymore..i dun feel safe anymore..i dun feel i hav any1 close 2 turn 2..last time there was u..but now..its only me~~ all up 2 me..haha

stand up n stay strong!

2008-04-30T07:00:00.002+08:00

seriously..i can get this q off my mind..how did i ever get in? i was pathetic..sigh...every1 knows so..damn..feeling kinda demoralised...

will i ever the courage 2 stand back up again? haix...

2008-04-29T01:52:00.002+08:00

i cant believe it..i guess i got very lucky..there were so many more other outstanding dancers..i was easily the weakest..no..i was the weakest..every1 agreed..every1 could see...sigh...it was a real mess..but yet i got in..

walked home from city hall..lolz more than 1 hr journey..crazy shit...but was great..refreshed my mind..felt alot better and did lotsa thinking on the way...haha owells..since im given this opportunity..i will darn hell cherish it..will nver let it go..TBG...i will work my way towards there...i wun dissapoint any1..

also..now im finally busy..guess i can forget things better bah..but this means lesser time for frens..gotta set priorities once again..haha..WOOOOTS

sry..guess i cant meet u..m really busy..but ull never know how busy i m..haha so..owells =)

2008-04-28T00:58:00.001+08:00

the words u said pierced straight into me..

2008-04-27T03:45:00.001+08:00

hmmm thought things through le..actually no point being sad or wadever..at least we know how the preparation is like..no more procastinating! haha..twin lets work towards floor the love! =D

2008-04-27T01:43:00.002+08:00

sigh..did not take part in KO night eventually..kinda dissapointed n upset..really..sigh..i dunno wad i shld do...really...

no longer know wad im doing..juz dancing my life off? but i dun even call myself dancing yet..haha super cui..really..will i ever b able 2 reach danny's standard? mayb i asking for too much really..bahhh...danny n k-lock...SIANZZZZ nvm..ill never know till i try n no pain no gain!

smth else bothering me as well..haiz..i know im not feeling tt way..haha i know im not..=)

2008-04-14T00:48:00.003+08:00

im freaking..tired...guess im really pushing myself..shld b happy i guess? but the feeling really sucks..its like u r neither here nor there..i dunno wads going on..wad im doing..only thing is that i gotta try n try n try..

never talked abt this b4..nv talked abt life..so many things still kept inside..feelings bogging me down..i guess till now the only person i share everything wif n feel most comfortable wif is still u..whenever i think abt this my heart juz breaks and ill end up controlling my tear ducts..

i guess after all its still u..but things can no longer go back anymore..owells..

2008-04-12T23:57:00.003+08:00

alot has been in my mind recently..

m i up for it? shld i take part in KO night? or however it is spelled..to go double wif martin..my twin..shld i? its really good exposure tts for sure..but i somehow feel im not up 2 it..i know it..my technique all sucks..sigh...also..i really dun wanna pull u down coz now u stand a higher chance of battling n i will only drag u down..sigh..
but anyway..THX A HELL ALOT MARTIN for ur support all the way..lets both work hard tgt n b the nxt batch of K lock n danny yo? we can do it de =) like u said..its no overnight work..

so long as the passion burns strong in me, there is no stopping me from achieving wad i want..

nxt..haven contacted u for a long time now..how r u? things r getting better from wad i can see..
i recently lost the $10 heart u folded for me..i still kept it close wif me after everything..was tt a sign or was it juz a mere coincidence? i really dunno..but i guess i hav only myself 2 blame for everything..

i hope things r turning out well for u n that u r always happy n smiling =) take care..

2008-04-11T15:30:00.002+08:00

i don't know wads gonna into me these few days..hav been feeling very weird n not being myself once again..bahhh..this sucks..dunno y hav been having nightmares..sianz..o wells..

2008-04-07T06:51:00.001+08:00

wheeeee!!! haha..its been close 2 1 mnth that i cant sleep properly..dunno wads wrong..alot is in my mind..but never told a single soul..haha..

sigh..wads wrong wif me? i seriously dun feel tired at all..juz thinking..n thinking..n thinking..owells..haha

2008-04-06T03:26:00.002+08:00

wheeee!! back from camp..camp was really fun...LOL kinda pissed..

was leading initially..i mean we were the best grp out there i guess? leading in quite alot..then final game the other 7 teams all aim us ONLY tmd..n kanna bomb till like shit..less than 1 min out..

owells..our grp too strong le..irressistable..pose too much threat..ahahahah haiz..but in the end got 4th!!!! ahh pissed..owells hahaha feeling kinda sucky but yea..most importantly had real fun there..=) hahah

back 2 dancing~~

2008-03-30T20:47:00.002+08:00

lol..juz woke up..hey sry sam..kh..xy . bry..tt time i really overslept..damn tired..damn restless..i dunno wads wrong..haiz..

having fever right now..bahh..tml still got camp all the way till wed..can i take it?? >< bahhhh

dunno wads wrong wif me..i feel i dun belong anywhere..juz very lost..? dunno..haiz..

im not that capable..i know..but that does not mean that i will simply give up juz like that..

2008-03-28T01:30:00.002+08:00

sigh..tired..i muz say really..i hav got a long long way more 2 go before i m considered "up to standard"..im still damn weak..sigh..i feel im not up 2 "senior" standard yet..haiz..but wun give up bah..will juz keep dancing..keep practising even if it will take me 10 years..or 100 years..or wadever..haha juz cant stop feeling this way..n i dunno y..it juz seems tt i can trust no1 once again..my old problem has like returned..haha owells..this sucks..haha

i know wad some of u might b thinking..or hav already said..but so long as my passion burns strong in me..nth will ever change my mindset or stop me achieving tt goal..i will do no matter how much effort it takes..i will go the distance..

2008-03-25T02:37:00.001+08:00

i should really watch my mouth n wad i say..i wonder when will i ever start thinking b4 i speak..

i juz killed some1 today..im sorry..

god..i think even crusification can never salvage me

2008-03-24T00:38:00.002+08:00

sigh..im sorry..i juz want u 2 know ill always b there if u nid a fren 2 talk 2..however no more than juz a fren..pls stop doing things tt u shld not do..it wun change anything..wun change 1 bit..ive set my mind straight..nth can ever change tt..im sorry

sam..thx for ur advice..i wun avoid u..ill b there if u call me or nid a listening ear..but nth else uve got 2 understand..im sorry..dance is my life n i dun want any commitments..ive said it before n ill say it again..im sorry..but this is the life i want 2 lead n ill live wif it for a long time 2 come..

i suggest u move on..really..stop lying 2 urself abt things that will never happen..im doing all these juz coz i still care..but only as a fren and likewise..i do this 2 all my frens if they need a helping hand..

stop living in self-denial..

2008-03-22T03:44:00.003+08:00

woots!!! been a long while since i last posted!!! LOL

ok la..not long long..but yea..quite a while heh..

sry..i enjoy my life now..very carefree no commitment wadsoever ecept to dance..haha so yea..i really really REALLY DO NOT WANT to b involved wif any other stuffs...bahhhh

wheeee...haha sianz..so bored..well going slp le..so yea..nites =)

2008-03-17T02:36:00.002+08:00

ITS FINALLY OVER!!!

TPDE GEM3 was a huge success!!! muahahha really enjoyed myself alot and had really lotsa fun!! haha gonna miss lotsa peeps...this concert has really brought some of us closer and really..its a good time 2 learn things..develop ones character and stuff..haha

concerts over but training still resumes..gonna do my best..haha wooots!!

lazy 2 upload photos..but most of it is in friendster..haha so go take a look!! =)

2008-03-14T00:44:00.003+08:00

TOMORROW IS THE DAY!!

tomorrow is the day we hav all been training so hard for the past 2 weeks for..lolz yea..pathetic 2 weeks..but definitely will give out all n put up a really good show..=) go dancers~~ WOOTS!! lets rock the stage!! muahahaha

I can only imagine what it will be like
When I walk by your side
I can only imagine what my eyes will see
When your face is before me
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

ill picture your presence..and after which..ill give in entirely. ive fallen.. ='(

2008-03-12T00:11:00.002+08:00

hav no idea y i m feeling like this..all i think of is revenge revenge revenge..is this how i subdue the pain inside of me? calm myself down..by hating others?

this sucks..really..but the feeling is..juz weird..haha feels good at times..damn sadistic..=/ haha owells..but i know it wun last long..ill go back 2 normal soon enuff..i know it will..wheee~~ juz gonna dance everything away.

2008-03-09T23:41:00.004+08:00

bahh..quite long nv post already..haha..been really busy busy busy..training like everyday..preparing for the concert..haha learnt alot..

i mean this concert will never be possible if every1 gets to dance in every scene..even so if we r not dancing..we still play a part in helping out making this dance a success..there is no 'i' in teamwork..so yea..lets all still do our best to make this concert a BANG!! muahahha

4 more days..counting down..freaking scared..bahhhh

tml is the last day 2 get tix..u really not coming?

2008-03-03T00:08:00.003+08:00

TO XINYI

I'm Sorry..

sorry i cant watch the movie..sorry that ive broken my promise again..i juz dunno y i still feel this way..i feel like crap, really..everyday i go out 2 see the faces of people..hypocrites..people who ACT nice..but deep inside..u urself can feel that they r shit ass fuckers..n i dunno y im still doing this..probably its juz becoz i wanna prove something..but all this comes at a price..everything does..im sorry..i dunno wad else i can say or do..i dun blame u for hating me..ill feel better at least..i dunno anything now..wads going on..i cant focus..i cant concentrate..i cant even remember my dance steps now..im too troubled over many fucked up issues..u r NOT 1 of it..but im stressed n i juz wanna keep running away from everything..so juz let me be k..? sorry..i suck at expressing..u know it..bahh..wadever..

2008-03-02T13:25:00.000+08:00

its not i do not want to..its i cant..sry..

2008-02-24T22:48:00.000+08:00

Sometime a man has to choose
And do somethinghe dosent wanna do
Do i live my life with you as my wife
Or do i go on and pursue my lifetime dream
I gotta do this for me
Cuz if i dont ill probably regret it
But if i do ill probably regret it
How do i cope

How do you cope when
The one you love is with somebody else
And theres nothin you can do about it
How do i deal with
The fact that you had a chance
But you choose to turn away for your career
I gotta take it throgh its heart breakin
Its somethin that i had to do
But nobody said that it would hurt so bad
So how do i live...and how do i deal
Without you

Its killing me to know
That yo heart hurts with me
But your with him cuz i chose to be
In this industry
Money shows and hoes come along with
Luxury and pain
Is all you see when you think about it
But this is the life
That i was given
So i have to live it to the fullest
But how do deal in the meantime
Without you

byebye~

u've turned away

2008-02-23T00:46:00.000+08:00

2008-02-19T22:42:00.002+08:00

falling sick..or shld i say hav already fallen sick..hahahah sianz...still studying..no mood but owells..gonna isolate myself for the nxt 1 wk..till fucking exams over..

damn..shld i go for black knights? u know those pro jet fighters tts recently here? ahh tix not easy 2 get but but but...EXAMSSSS sianz..c how bah..ok back 2 MEMORISING LOL

2008-02-18T23:56:00.002+08:00

THANK YOU GUYS...i know u guys aint very rich..but thx..thx for willing 2 buy that damn tix which cost $15..haha especially sam..i know this is so not ur thing..haha n bry n hazzy not very rich but still thx alot..really..haha i really appreciate it..=) woots!!

2008-02-15T07:11:00.001+08:00

slowly but surely..i will let go..no longer gonna contact u..no longer gonna b myself anymore..

2008-02-10T15:13:00.001+08:00

how r u..? haha u really not coming for the concert? =/ owells..

2008-02-10T01:27:00.000+08:00

i dunno why im feeling like this..haiz..have not been me for a long time..y m i putting on this fake front of me..some kept asking me whether im alright..haha m i really alright? i dunno..my health is deteoriating slowly bit by bit tts for sure..owells..

concert is coming~~ haha..less than a mnth time 2 train..sianz..feel too little time is left..not enuff time 2 practice..but o wells...gotta give a good show still..haha speaking of which..valentines coming too..haha lalala.. =)

i dunno wad 2 tok abt or wads going through my mind..its damn blank n hollow..haha..shall stop here la..no mood..wheeee~~

2008-02-07T03:18:00.000+08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

haha..owells..boring cny this yr..did nth..played games tts all..haha i dunno wad shld i do..all i know is tt i muz improve..i gotta train..i cant distract myself anymore..n i want my grades up badly..haha n im nearing tt now i guess..slowly..grades hav improved i guess..only thing is dance..will i ever reach my desired standard? sigh..gotta train realllllll hard..haha i know i can..jia you bah..wheeeee~~

2008-02-01T19:48:00.000+08:00

you are right..actually..u deserve alot better..

right now..what m i..? i don't even know..i juz live each day as it comes by..i feel worthless..i feel nothing..im numb..completely..top to bottom..

ive been selfish..ive been arrogant..ive been ignorant..ive placed my priorities wrong right from the very beginning..i dun even know what im doing now..

this is probably why its best things r left this way..ill walk my lonely path..ull walk ur path where theres still alot more opportunities for u..ive already given up on me..

you never know whats happened 2 me..i smile..the end..u will never know how much im suffering..

2008-01-30T15:54:00.001+08:00

don't hate me..coz i've already hated myself enough..

2008-01-28T07:27:00.000+08:00

waahhhh...omg..we really chiong fnb non stop sial..thought had little to do..but was damn wrong..still had LOTS to do..lolz chiong from 10pm all the way till now..still doing..sigh..

muz really thank zhen for staying up till so "early" with me..haha zhilin..she's sick..owells..jas..=/ damn hard 2 contact u..dunno whether u avoiding our calls or wad..but dun take personal lives into work bah..tts all i can say..

although i know its not gonna b a perfect piece of work..but owells..cant expect much from last min work..haha..at least we are almost there..everything is almost done..hha..guess after today i wun b blogging much le..gonna send com for repair..n training is gonna get tougher..nid 2 catch up on slp as well..haha

well..dance concert tix is out!! 14 and 15 march 2008~ $15 bucks per tix..find me if u r interested bah..haha

2008-01-26T18:02:00.000+08:00

sigh..this muz hav the been the worst wk ever..so many things happened..

im especially sorry to zhen, zhilin and jas..i should not hav reacted that way n treated u all tt way..juz tt alot has happened 2 me..likewise i know alot has happened 2 u gurls..all i did was run n run..i nv faced the problems..everything started to boggle up..till friday..everything seemed to happen so fast..i wasn't rdy for marketing test..i did not slp at all..only for 30 mins on the bus trip n was supposed 2 meet at 8 but u gurls were late..i got pissed coz there was no time for us 2 rehease..im sorry..i know i screwed the presentation..i screwed a few weeks of hardwork in a matter of 1 min..i guess i took things too personal...im really sorry..

the other 3..haha sherine..fang n shi ting..sorry that u 3 had to see the unsightful part of me..my mind crashed during the presentation actually..i juz held on..till after it..so sorry..haha..guess i really made a fool out of myself..

ive lost alot n gained nothing..ive said many hurtful words that i knew i shouldn't..the things i did all wrong..now im left with nothing cept scars..this time round..will dancing help me forget my pain?

sorry every1..n xinyi..sry 2 b unable to meet..but ull never understand my situation..n thanks..now i hate myself more than ever before..=)

ill fade into the nothingness~~

2008-01-25T02:24:00.000+08:00

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out,
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow,
Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit

still doing econs..haha haven touched marketing yet..sweet..lesson learnt....dun repeat it the nxt time..haha..owells..trust no1 but urself..

2008-01-24T00:13:00.001+08:00

just a short update..ZHEN..when u scolding ppl pls be more serious can? dun laugh n scold..the person wun know whether u joking or really angry..-.-

ZHILIN..pls bloody check n scan ur com..u r the only person ive seen in my 18 years of life that out of 80k files, none is protected..=D i dunno how u even did tt..

XINYI..sry cant chat..got alot of proj 2 do..lolz n good luck for ur results later..ull do damn well..i know it..haha

woah..today alot of things happen sial..haha..suddenly back hurts more than ever..aching like hell..the entire stretch..owells..n i got a HUGE N DEEP cut on my leg n i din even know how..it was bleeding for like damn long already..only noticed it at ard 8pm when damn itchy then scratched..SUPER PAIN!!! the blood was already dried..then peeled the whole stretch off..lolz ouch..haha..YAY!! ECONS LEFT PPT!!! N LEFT F&B N EDITING!!! WOOTZ!!!

2008-01-23T13:55:00.001+08:00

the things im doing...its not me..

2008-01-22T21:42:00.000+08:00

i dunno wad im doing..i dunno wad i want..i dunno where im heading..i only know im dying..slowly n surely..im killing myself..sigh..

mayb i really m shit..tt nickname kinda suits me la..to think abt it..haha